One-not-so-bloody-smart card

It was all a bit of a leap of faith, but stupidly I thought it was a good idea to use a ‘currency card’ for my quick flit to Europe.  Apologies if this is a first world problem, but I have only been to Europe once, 17 years ago, so this IS a big deal.

Today I got an email saying my  OneSmart card was suspended due to some suspicious transactions.  Naturally, I logged in and lookie-there – three transactions in Brazil.  WTF?  Second step is to call customer services (!), as per the email request.  My first attempt was a failure – hung up after 15 unanswered minutes.

“Welcome to the new OneSmart customer service centre” it said.  All downhill from there.  The lovely women of Asian abstraction did their best to placate me.  Offered to send me a dispute form.  Like I have done something?  There is no dispute to be had.  I found that if you speak through gritted teeth they fairly quickly pass you on to someone else.  Person number 2 offered to send a replacement card in 5 – 10 days.  How will the card find me, I wonder, if I am in France or on the Eurostar???  No, that is not helpful at all.  Then, if I was united with the replacement card, I can use it to get emergency cash.  What I want is MY cash….

Person number 3, English, and clearly schooled in dealing with the borderline hysterical.  She too insisted I need to fill in a dispute form.  Also a ‘cash out’ form to close the account, after I explained fairly tersely that I cannot possibly travel with a card that has lost my money before I step outside the front door.  To think I was worried about pick-pockets.

I walked home – walking goes quickly when you are angry, and the forms had arrived in my in box.  Printed, filled out, scanned, returned.  With a hard copy just to be sure.

Just to add insult to injury, the dispute form, page 4 requires an Affidavit of Fraud.  Does this happens all the time?  It says “being duly sworn, say that my card was (check boxes) lost, stolen, blah blah.  I tick Other, sign and send.  When I look again, after the Other box it says (Please explain).

What.  WHAT.  YOU EXPLAIN.  You explain to me how some arse somewhere can access MY MONEY, that I gave to you to look after, and take some of it and you want ME to EXPLAIN to YOU WHAT HAS HAPPENED????


Just give me back my money, all of it, and be done with it.

Airlines should stick to flying planes and leave banks to deal with money.

You know what my horoscope (daily) said …. “When you get impatient today, step away and take a breath.”  I take that as hanging up after 15 minutes.

The weekly version says

“Put your money head on…. On the other hand, a financial glitch could give you quite the headache. The crucial factor about any monetary issues that arise this week as that you must check the veracity of the information.  (too late?)

Guess it will all work out somehow.

Unlike travel cards, a trap for the innocent, this trap serves it’s purpose. Protecting whio, our endangered blue duck, in the Otira Valley.  Perspective restored.



About Ngaire Wallen

Landscape designer, thinker, partner, mother, reader, wanna-be writer keen to inflict my thoughts on the world.
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